I have this theory. It is that people who are always late or rushed, enjoy being late. They must do, otherwise the pain or consequences of being late would motivate them to get ready or prepared for their appointment a little bit earlier.
Normally, when we find that something does not work for us, we modify our behaviour so that whatever it is osf my chart that does not work, now works. I know that is terrible English, but you know what I mean, I am sure. The fact is, we all change to accommodate the circumstances and if they do not work out successfully, then we change our patterns of behaviour.
Let me give you an example. When we start a new job, generally we want to make a good impression on our new boss or work colleagues for the first few days, right? So, we often make sure that we get up early enough to get to work on time. After the first few days, our experience tells us that we can leave a little bit later, and still be on time, so we modify our behaviour to accommodate this. The same is true when we are late because of traffic or family issues, if it is likely that this is an ongoing pattern, we modify our time for leaving the house to go to work, so that we arrive just before we have to start work.
As another example of this behaviour, but on a more personal level. Often we know of people who cannot make appointments on time, but these people are also our friends too. This poses a difficult problem for us because, on one hand, we should accept them as they are, after all, they are our friends. On the other hand, we could easily say to ourselves that these people do not value our friendship enough and respect our time enough to be at our coffee appointment or lunch date at the arranged time.
Of course, I am assuming that I am like everyone else, but this is not true, because there will always be some who cannot or will not get to work, or meet in the coffee shop at the arranged time. We all know these people who are constantly late, and it is probably a theme running throughout their life too. Being someone who likes to question life and find out the answers, I ask myself, why there are people who cannot be on time for appointments? The only reason I can think of, is that they are unwilling to modify their behaviour to change this pattern in their life.
Many people who are late for work, say that they just cannot get up in the mornings or that they are not “morning people”, but these same people will be able to get up to catch a 3am flight to go on holiday. They know that if they do not get there on time, the plane will leave without them and they will not have their holiday for which they have paid. Therefore, I conclude that it must be a subconscious choice they make to be late or rushed for appointments.
Possibly teenagers have an excuse to be late for a date. Their hormones have not settled yet and their bodies maybe in a state of chaos, however when a date turns up late, we have to ask ourselves how much they want to see us? I do not think it is unreasonable to project this behaviour 10 years into the future and to ask another question which follows on from the first. Bearing in mind that a date is usually a big motivator, is this the kind of person we want to live with? Someone who is not motivated by a new date, and more particularly, they cannot be very interested in us either.